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One Side: One Friend's Perspective

Sometimes I'm recorded while I’m eating. It's jarring to spot myself on her social media – it feels like a sudden shock.

A close companion of a decade, she, labels herself the “content queen”. It can be amusing for a short while, but it weighs on our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to record everything constantly. When we eat out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and takes photos with bright lighting, which induces embarrassment. It's unpleasant when other people see her posing or filming – I experience vicarious awkwardness. It also frustrates me because the food gets cold.

She isn’t exactly an influencer yet, but Marielle is aspiring to become one. She creates vlogs about living in our city, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I don’t want to be involved. On occasion she films me while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. I’ll see myself on her Instagram later, and it pops up like a surprise: I might be bare-faced, an awkward face or be captured mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

Marielle also expects me to film her at inconvenient times. Sometimes I’ll be talking to someone else, or we’ll just be spending time in the street. The dynamic feels like our bond has turned into me being her free crew. She could easily hire someone if she wanted high-quality content. Upon mentioning my unease about the situation, she dismissed it. I've been invited to several brand events, which were appreciated, but that doesn’t make up for all the time and effort I invest assisting her make content.

I appreciate that Marielle has supported me with my career in design, but I don’t want our connection to become merely a tally of favours. I don’t feel she’s fake or inauthentic, but sometimes I feel that if recording starts, we will start performing in a way that makes us look good for her vlog.

Her directive is, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me smiling with someone. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to recognize that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy spending time with her, but I also want to enjoy it without being filmed, edited, or posted for an audience. I’m not a prop for her Instagram.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I want Beth to see that the content we produce together can get us a foot in the door.

I love shooting content. It's more than a hobby; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online enables me to show my personality and connect with people in new ways.

I don’t see myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to make money from your passions. I admire people on social platforms who execute that style of casual, DIY content creation.

Creating content is my interpretation of engaging with life: observing the details, sharing them with an viewership that values the craft behind it. I never intend to make Beth uneasy. Taking her to professional gatherings was my way of offering access, providing her a chance to witness exclusive moments that could benefit her professional path too. That’s not blackmail, it’s just being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see the benefits the work we make together can get us: an opening. I know not all people likes being filmed, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes content genuine. Appearing on video occasionally is part and parcel of being my friend. I would delete anything she requested, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don’t expect anyone to be my private videographer, but friends help each other in minor capacities. I thought filming a clip here or there would be fun for Beth. Creativity thrives in partnership, and having my friend around makes projects lively and pleasurable. I don't compel her to take part in anything, and I would never deliberately embarrass her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I value Beth’s friendship deeply and don’t want content creation to come between us. I am ready to find middle ground: like requesting permission before recording, and avoiding angles that might make her self-conscious.

This is not about power, it’s about sharing my world while still respecting hers. Clearly making content is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I experience life and I want her to be involved in a way that’s agreeable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Reader Opinions

Should Marielle stop filming herself and Beth when they are socializing?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a companion film you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s job, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Maybe she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. With the uncertain future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for help every time, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys shooting, that doesn't imply everyone around her is content. She must to honor her friend's privacy.
Another reader, 26

She may enjoy producing videos and displaying her life publicly, but it isn't for everyone. It was kind she has helped Beth’s career, but she must to hear what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you care about each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the focus in your friendship. Foster some authentic experiences, where true emotions are preserved, not digital scrapbooks. In fact, public figures who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more privacy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be not fully engaged nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Both seem confused as to what’s reasonable. The answer is not found in trying to change one another, but in each establishing clear boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

Consider this question: has she been exploiting their friendship?